Capture the flag
by Jive Pigs
Summary: Looks like those jive turkeys have another chapter up...reaching conclusion...
1. Default Chapter

Okay, Intro! ^_^ My name is, as you saw, Jive Pigs, JP for short. Intro to charectors.  
  
Benzik = The band director. Sometimes it feels like the band  
dictator, but hey, why would you care? He's short and round, and he's  
got a bum knee. Typically wears grey shorts, a dark green shirt, and a  
cream colored hat with the words "I Believe!" Written in big bold  
dark green letters. He's balding slightly and has grey hair, white at  
the roots, a jolly face and is always smiling until he starts  
directing. Or yelling. He's also a Lightweight Monty Python fan. Main  
instrument is tuba  
  
Jessy = One of the 5 main charectors. She's smart, spunky, and  
could probably kick the livin snot outta a bull! She's about 5'8", has  
shoulder length black hair, also usually smiling, typically wheres t-  
shirts, and jeans. Best buds with JP, George, Lacy, and Amy. Plays  
Baritone. And.that's all I can think of for now.  
  
JP = Yours truly! I guess I'm like a five year old in a fifteen  
year olds body. 5'10 ¾" (Have been for over a year) has short spiked  
brown hair, I guess you could call them piercing blue eyes, a mild  
case of acne, and is lanky. Hardly ever frowns, typically wears jean  
and a t-shirt with a humorous saying, or advertising a cheesy movie  
(i. e; Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, or Evil Dead), usually sees the  
up side to life, takes a lot of naps, practically lives in the band  
room. Is a HUGE Monty Python fan and will use plenty of MP references.  
Plays tuba, with pride and from hence forth will refer to her as he  
always has, as Heavy Metal!  
  
George = In short, a lot like John, only stronger, not at all  
lanky, has a tan, isn't as big of a Monty Python fan, and is going out  
with Lacy. Typically wears a dark blue shirt with a dragon on the  
front, and Ginko Jeans. Plays Bari Sax.  
  
Lacy = about 5'9", long black hair, is dating George, has a very  
full and cheery face, and blue eyes. Usually wears a KoRn shirt and  
Jeans. Usually sees upside to life. Plays flute.  
  
Amy = Not actually part of the band, but she's short, and angry.  
Has poofy blackish hair, is loud, and has an unexplainable desire to  
destroy things..especially things named John. Usually wears Korn or  
Disturbed Shirt and Jeans. Real bookworm..I think that's it.  
  
Sexton = Our PE "teacher". He's the reincarnate of Hitler,  
and may be referred to as Hitler, or Adalf once or twice  
  
Paul Russell = Sexton's main crony. Captain of almost every sport  
except golf. A real jerk-wad who has it out for JP.  
  
Members of the flag team = Jill Emmons, Emily Alexander, Amber  
Milbaur(captain), Chere Womac(#1 not nice lady), Jenna Brown(#1 nice  
lady), Alex Niedomeyer, and Molly Shetton.  
  
Members of the cheerleading squad = Only one's that you'll really  
need to know are the ones in band. They are Mary Groll(trumpet), and  
Shayla Samples(captain/sax)  
  
Well, I believe that's all that need be explained. If anyone else of terrible importance comes up, I will add them. 


	2. The chapter that almost wasn't

***A/N- Okay, welcome to Dwigit (Dw-i-jit). It's like, a crapatastic state of time and space. Until you enter the band room. Then it's a world of wonder and love and cheesecake and doughnuts, of insults, and a plethora of sound- err music.yeah.Just shut up and read.***  
  
At Wednesday morning Practice  
  
Benzik  
* Enters into band room. Band is making a heck of a lot of noise. Not  
music, noise. Benzik is wearing war attire. No one takes much notice  
because he's the band director, and what's more a tuba player, and is  
inclined to do stupid things for no reason * WE'RE AT WAR! * All stop  
playing and stare at Benzik. This was just a bit more crazy than  
normal. *  
  
Jessy  
You feeling all right, Benzik? I mean, you don't usually have a  
formal declaration of war until after the third marching show, and we  
haven't even had our first show.  
  
Benzik  
Drastic times call for drastic measures, Ms. Tyler.  
  
Lacy  
Okay, then who are we at war with, then?  
  
Benzik  
* Squinty eyes * The jocks.  
  
Lacy  
* rolls eyes * Duh.  
  
Amy  
(Even though she's not on the flag squad, or in band, she hangs out  
there with her friends) But why?  
  
Benzik  
Because they've started a deadly game of cat and mouse.  
  
George  
* raises hand *  
  
Benzik  
.What, George?  
  
George  
Are we the Cats or the Mice?  
  
Benzik  
We're the cats!  
  
John  
I'm allergic to cat's.  
  
Benzik  
FINE! We're the mice!  
  
Lacy  
I'm afraid of mice.  
  
George  
O_O Can I be Mighty Mouse?!?!  
  
Benzik  
_ IT'S NOT CAT AND MOUSE ANY MORE!!!!! Now its capture the flag!  
  
Jessy  
Why is it capture the flag?  
  
Benzik  
Because Sexton and his cronies have kidnapped one of the flag girls! *  
Dramatic chord.Shrubbery! Sorry, couldn't resist *  
  
John  
Why didn't you just refer to it as capture the flag to start  
with?  
  
Benzik  
ARGH! JUST SHUT UP AND PREPARE FOR WAR!!!!!!!!  
  
Amy  
Chill, B. Who'd they kidnap anyways?  
  
Benzik  
Jill Emmons! * All return to making noise as before, not caring  
* HEY! * All stop again * we have to retaliate!  
  
Jessy  
* sigh. In a bored voice * How are we supposed to retaliate.  
  
Benzik  
Kidnap a cheerleader! * All turn to Mary Groll. Mary looks back  
and forth holding her trumpet, looking frightened. George tackles and  
hog ties her * Good work Edwin! Throw her in the storage room!  
  
John  
* Gasp * Not.the comfy chair! I mean * gasp * Not.the storage room!  
It's filled with used band shoes, and old used moldy, unwashed socks!  
It's too good for her!  
  
Benzik  
It'll have to suffice for now. Throw her in George!  
  
At 8th hour band practice later that day  
  
Benzik  
* directing for a while. Suddenly blows up for no reason * NO! IT  
NEEDS TO BE LOUDER THERE! In order for it to be louder, you need to  
use more air! Now measure 69, BLOW HARDER! * Class erupts with  
laughter. Sexton enters all not happy and stuff * Speaking of blowing.  
* class laughs harder * (hehe.harder)  
  
Hitler  
Where's Mary Groll? She wasn't at the football/cheerleading  
special pizza buffet!  
  
Benzik  
How should I know where she is?  
  
Hitler  
Because, she's young and sweet and innocent and beautiful!  
  
Benzik  
That's sick and wrong!  
  
Lacy  
Not entirely. I mean, She IS kind of young.  
  
George  
Big scary man say things that make George's tum tum feel sick  
  
Benzik  
Well, what about Jill?  
  
Lacy  
She's not ANY of those things.  
  
Benzik  
I was talking to Sexton. Why'd you take her in the first place?  
  
Hitler  
Because you and your band and flags were taking time away from  
football!  
  
Benzik  
HA! More like the football teams taking time away from band and  
flags!  
  
Sexton  
Oh yeah? Wanna fight about it?  
  
John  
* enters behind Sexton, for he has just returned from getting his horn  
polished in the auditorium, so obviously he still has Heavy Metal with  
him *  
  
Benzik  
Your insistent yammering tires and bores me. Moyemont! Take care  
of him!  
  
John  
* Shoves bell of Heavy Metal over Adolph *  
  
Sexton  
* muffled due to fact that he's stuck in a horn bell * This isn't  
over! You will rue the day you crossed me, Benzik! ALL OF YOU WILL! *  
turns to exit, runs into wall. All laugh at him. Finds his way out *  
  
Benzik  
Don't worry, I'll write you all passes to come here during PE.  
Now, let's finish this song!  
  
John  
* raises hand *  
  
Benzik  
What?  
  
John  
( *all pouty like * They took Heavy Metal.  
  
Benzik  
O_O That bastard! That was the good one! Now it's on.  
  
Next day in choir  
  
Benzik  
JP.  
  
JP  
HERE!  
  
Benzik  
George.  
  
George  
HERE!  
  
Benzik  
Jessica Milbuer.  
  
Jessica  
HERE!  
  
Benzik  
Amber Milbauer.Amber?  
  
Secretary  
*enters * Note for you Benzik. From Sexton.  
  
Benzik  
*takes note, reads eagerly, and crushes note with fist * First  
he takes the only flag girl who knows what she's doing, now he takes  
the only one who understands what Jill is saying! MOYEMONT! EDWIN! *  
John and George snap to attention * First, recapture Heavy Metal, then  
capture a cheerleader  
  
George and John  
SIR YES SIR!*run out of room and put backs against wall on  
either side of office *  
  
Satan  
*to Heavy Metal * You know my large annoying friend, you would  
make a great football trophy, as a matter of fact, I think you will!  
You and all your instrumentalist friends! *John jumps in front of  
door, but just then bell rings, and is run over by bunch of students  
rushing to classes *  
  
Will Satan succeed in his plan? Will Benzik ever beat up Hitler? Will  
John get over his concussion? Find out next week on INTERVIEWERS!!!!!! 


	3. The Chapter That Might Have Been

I promised I'd intro new characters as they came. Well, here you go.  
  
Skridz = Art Teacher. He's cool, and relaxed, and fun, so I'm told. I personally wouldn't know. I spend all my time in the band room and library.  
  
John  
BENZIK!  
SATAN'SGONNASTEALALLTHEINSTRUMENTSANDMELTTHEMTOMAKEFOOTBALLTROPHIES!  
  
Benzik  
Come again?  
  
John  
BENZIK!  
SATAN'SGONNASTEALALLTHEINSTRUMENTSANDMELTTHEMTOMAKEFOOTBALLTROPHIES!  
  
Benzik  
.One more time  
  
John  
BENZIK!  
SATAN'SGONNASTEALALLTHEINSTRUMENTSANDMELTTHEMTOMAKEFOOTBALLTROPHIES!  
  
Benzik  
.I got it all through Benzik.  
  
George  
He said, BENZIK! SATAN'S GONNA STEAL ALL THE INSTRUMENTS AND MELT THEM  
TO MAKE FOOTBALL TROPHIES!  
  
Benzik  
O_O WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
George  
I SAID THAT HE SAID-  
  
Benzik  
No, I heard you, you buffoon. That was a scream of shock. We must  
think of something to do. hmm. First we must find five people guard  
the instruments and prisoners. That way while two are guarding at  
least three will be in class.  
  
George  
Well, John's already in here for Band, Chorus, Music Appreciation,  
Lunch and Study Hall, so I nominate him as one of them. And I'm here  
for Band, Chorus and Lunch, so I'll come. As for the other three,  
Jessy, Lacy, and Amy would do pretty good.  
  
Benzik  
Excellent! Go send them to me immediately! * John and George go to Art  
room where Jessy, Lacy and Amy are *  
  
George  
Jessy, Lacy and Amy! Benzik demands your presence immediately!  
  
Skridz  
O_O Excuse Me, but I'm teaching a class here!  
  
George  
Aww, I'm sorry. Here let me get you a tissue * reaches in pocket and  
pulls out had, flipping Skridz off. The five leave. On the way they  
spot Shayla, Head cheerleader, but also Drum Major * Crap. Should we  
capture her or not?  
  
John  
I. don't know. I'm not used to this kind of tough decision.  
  
Jessy  
I say take her down!  
  
Lacy  
ARE YOU MAD!?!!?!?  
  
John  
Hey, what happened to Amy?  
  
George  
* Points ahead to Shayla * There she is!  
  
John  
Oh no. * Amy Throws a net over Shayla and gags her *  
  
Amy  
Now we're in this together.  
  
George  
* Picks up net * Well, if nothing else, we can just blame Amy.  
*all go to band room *  
  
Benzik  
What's this?!?! You've captured your Drum Major, you incompetent  
buffoons!  
  
Jessy  
But, we do have another one, and Shayla IS Head cheerleader.  
  
Benzik  
Good Point. Throw her in the storage room!  
  
Shayla  
MMM!  
  
John  
What's that girl? Timmy fell in a well? GOOD! That little  
bastard was always mouthing off and not listening to his mother. I  
HOPE HE BROKE HIS NECK!  
  
Benzik  
Un gag her for a minute.  
  
George  
* un gags Shayla *  
  
Shayla  
Don't lock me up! Please! I. I can spy for you! Yeah, I can  
bring you all the cheerleaders!  
  
Benzik  
We can just have the school mascot do that for us.  
  
John  
.We don't have a mascot Benzik.  
  
Benzik  
Not right now we don't. Gag her up again! And throw her in the  
storage room!  
  
George  
*gags Shayla and throws her in the storage room with Mary, who's  
still hog tied *  
  
Benzik  
We shall have to pick some one to be mascot. Some one tall and  
lanky. Some one that has a goofy sense of humor. some one who wouldn't  
mind wearing tights. *all turn to John *  
  
John  
*sigh* Fine.  
Meanwhile  
  
Sexton  
Paul, I have a little job for you.  
  
Paul  
Uh, Sexton, can we wait 'til tomorrow? My butt still hurts from  
last time.  
  
Sexton  
NO, you idiot! I mean I want you and the other jocks to capture  
the remaining flags tonight!  
  
Paul  
Oh, no Problem sir!  
  
Later that day at cheerleading practice  
  
Cheerleading Coach  
Ladies, I want to introduce to you our new mascot, but I also  
want to remind you to be nice to him. He's prepared something for us  
in the band room, so If you will all follow me. * all go to band room,  
where they are all ambushed and thrown into storage room *  
  
John  
I here by retire from all my mascoting duties!  
  
Benzik  
HA! It would take the jocks months to pull off an operation like  
that!  
  
Meanwhile at Guard practice.  
Emily  
You guys go ahead; I'll catch up to you later. I'm gonna stay  
and practice a bit more. * keeps practicing when a few shadowy figures  
appear back stage in the auditorium, where the guard girls practice *  
Hello? Hello? Can I help you?  
  
Paul  
Yes, you can help us.by letting us capture you.  
  
Emily  
Hey, I just had a crazy thought, NO!  
  
Paul  
It wasn't really a question.  
  
Emily  
* goes into ninja stance and points flag at Paul *  
  
Paul  
*takes flag *  
  
Emily  
Uh.well, you see.. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *runs away *  
  
Paul  
*throws flag like it's a javelin and it hits Emily on the back  
of the head, rendering her unconscious. He picks her up and flings her  
over shoulder, then leaves *  
  
Later that night  
  
Luke (Paul's brother)  
*As they stand outside Molly's house * How do you know they're  
having extra practice here tonight?  
  
Paul  
Let's just say a little bird accidentally said it in its  
unconscious sleep..  
  
Luke  
Oh, you mean that flag you got at practice tonight?  
  
Paul.  
.yes. Now, here's the plan. We break in, tie them all up, and  
throw them in the back of the truck and put them in the secret hiding  
place. Any questions?  
  
Luke  
Just one. what's for supper?  
  
Paul  
Shut up and bust down that damn door! * Luke busts down door *  
  
John  
*Who was on his way to hang out with the flag girls that night *  
what's Paul's truck doing here? *hears a whole bunch of banging and  
slamming going on inside * O_O Either the guard girls like it rough,  
or they're getting captured, and I don't think that there's much  
chance any of them would want to hang out with Paul. Let's see what my  
options are. I can A) go in there and get my ass kicked by my mortal  
enemy, or B) hook myself up underneath Paul's truck so that I can see  
where they're going. I think I like the latter of those two ideas  
more.  
  
Inside the house  
  
Luke  
That's all of them. * Alex, Jenna, and Molly are tied together  
and gagged. Chere is tied up separately *  
  
Paul  
Carry these three out.  
  
Luke  
What about this one?  
  
Paul  
*grins demonically * Leave this one to me. *Luke carries three  
out to truck. Paul reaches in to pants and. pulls out a gun. Shoots  
Chere several times in head then leaves *  
  
Announcer  
Will John save the flag girls? Will George, Lacy, Amy, and Jessy catch  
anyone trying to steal the band equipment? Why does my voice sound  
like this? Find out next time on.That Show! 


	4. The Chapter that Was

Anouncer  
And now, the final part!  
  
Back in the band room  
  
George  
*enters to band room, where Jessy, Lacy, and Amy are keeping  
guard * Alright, Amy, you're off.  
  
Amy  
No, YOU'RE off!  
  
Jessy  
Where's John at? He's supposed to take over for me and Lacy.  
  
George  
He said he was going to stop by the extra guard practice to see  
how they were doing.  
  
Jessy  
Well, I'm tired of waiting.  
  
Amy  
Why don't we call him?  
  
Lacy  
*picks up phone and dials John's cell number *  
  
Meanwhile, in Paul's truck.  
  
Paul  
*to Luke, who's sitting next to Paul * What's that noise?  
  
Luke  
What noise? *listens to a loud thumping noise coming from under  
the truck * Oh it's probably just the quality of this fanfic droping  
out due to all the bad jokes.  
  
John  
*from under truck, as Paul hits every pothole he can * OW! OW!  
OW! OW! OW! . . . *cell phone rings, and he answers * You're talking  
to the John. OW!  
  
Lacy  
Where are you?  
  
John  
Well, Paul kidnapped the flags, and I'm following him! . . .OW!  
Oh crap! He's pulling into the school! Quick, turn off the lights, and  
keep quiet! I'll be in as soon as I can. *hangs up as Paul parks truck  
and gets out, carries the flags into the school. John tries to free  
himself, but apparently it's harder to undue bungee cord than to put  
it on * Oh crap. . .  
  
Jessy  
*whispered * Here comes Paul and Luke! Where's John?  
  
George  
Let's follow them! They're going to lead us to the other flag  
girls! *In his excitement he tries to run after Luke, but trips *  
  
Luke  
What the-! *goes and kidnaps George, Lacy, and Jessy. Amy had  
fallen asleep in Heavy Metal's case, and was awakened by all the noise  
*  
  
Amy  
*whispering to herself * I should probably go save them. . . But  
first a quick phone call *makes a phone call that won't be described  
now because I want to keep you in suspense for a minute or two, then  
she follows them much quieter than George *  
  
Paul  
*Once they are in the gym * Now, the final plan, to get the  
instruments!  
  
Amy  
*emerges from shadows * Not if I have anything to say about it!  
  
Luke  
-_- Oh no, the terrible fate of a midget beating. . . *Amy  
Leaps and attaches her self to Luke's face * O_O OH SWEET MOTHER OF  
FOOTBALL GET THIS THING OFF ME!!!!!!!!!! *runs around in circles  
screaming *  
  
Author  
*to person sitting next to him singing a stupid annoying song  
about old men * DAMNIT, BRENT! SHUT UP! I'm trying to finish this  
fanfic that you keep telling me to finish! Anyways back to the story.  
. .  
  
Paul  
O_o. . . What was that about?  
  
Luke  
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! GET IT OFF!!!!!!!!!  
  
Paul  
Oh, yeah, sorry. *rips Amy off Luke's face * Who's gonna save  
you know, huh?  
  
Announcer  
And now, the thrilling conclusion!  
  
Geneva  
*runs in at the speed of light, and stands in front of Paul and  
Luke *  
  
Paul  
Who the hell are you? And how'd you know to come here?  
  
Geneva  
My name's Geneva, Amy called and told me to come save you all,  
and I shall.  
  
Luke  
How?  
  
Geneva  
Like this! *pulls out a really sharp pen, and stabs them both in  
the arms *  
  
Paul and Luke  
OW!  
  
Benzik  
*enters * Stop! Stop this quarralling at once! I've ended the  
fued! I've black mailed Satan into moving to Canada, and now we can  
free the flags! *frees all *  
  
Friday, at the football game  
  
Jessy  
I'm glad it all worked out but I can't help thinking we forgot a  
few things.  
  
Lacy  
Well, we freed the cheerleaders, and saved the instruments. What  
could we've forgotten?  
  
John  
*from under Paul's truck * Hello?. . . 


End file.
